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September 13th, 2005

08:40 am

I like cricket, but in general people don't ever seem to be bothered by it. Until now...
We beat the Australians which is a Good Thing, but like with the rugby I predict that in a couple of weeks there will be many shops over stocked with souvenir cricket shirts, hats and signature series bats which the kids no longer want.

With this sort of fuss you'd think that we never win sporting events. Oh, wait a minute...

So today in a fit of "Well the rugby did it, why can't we", the England team will be paraded through town in an open top bus, flashing around the rather unimpressive trophy of The Ashes (on the front page of the Metro this morning there was a picture of someone with their hands in the air. At first I thought it was someone in distress, sinking into some kind of stack of rioting people, but then I looked closer and thought it was a mutant with an extra finger, or a rioter who had torn someone's pinky off, until I remembered yesterday and realised it was that most impressive looking of symbols - The Ashes. If you're going to parade something around like that, you should at least give it a big enclosure for the faithful to worship at - even the fingerbones of saints had big old reliquaries so that more paying customers could flock around at a time). The parade will end, where else, in Trafalgar Square were Crowds Are Expected. I suspect the crowds will be more subdued than the rugby ones, but at the same time have a worry that this will be another time that the lovely people of our nation will jump on the bandwagon and refer to cricket bats as "racquets" as they wave at the people they don't know on the top deck of a bus they can't see as they take time out of their day's shopping for sports leisure wear, maybe even a cricket hat, on Oxford street.

That said, I'll be down at Mansion House for the start of the parade at 11 and pointed and laughed at letnash as much as anyone when we beat the Aussies at rugby, even though I watched barely half a match of the whole rugby season, and can't name a cricketer since Botham retired. Apart from Flintoff and Pietersen, whose names will be known for at least 2 weeks. Well done to em - that's longer than I remember my brother's name.

Tony? Terry? I'm sure it starts with a T...